Family. Friends. Lovers. Yourself. Every thing takes work. Sometimes the effort is minimal. Other times, it can feel like moving mountains. How do you know when to work at it? How do you know when to let go?
I struggle with something different every day. I've been training to be a cycling instructor for over a year now. It has taken me this much time to prove to myself that I can do it. One day, after a training session, my instructor told me that she could see me instructing a class. I had the best feeling in my heart. I felt like someone had freed me of something. She didn't say I could teach a class. She said she could SEE me teaching a class. I'm still far from reaching my goal.
What's the big deal about peddling on a bike while shouting out commands? For me, leading a group of people through a 45 minute cycling dance party is worse than moving a mountain. I didn't understand at first when my teacher told me I had to be vulnerable and not be afraid of myself. When I wasn't afraid of myself anymore, I got it. Letting go and letting myself just be, moved mountains. I'm not an instructor yet, but I will be.
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